The Birthplace of Love
Vulnerability is defined by Dr. Brene’ Brown in her book Daring Greatly as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure…vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper or meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path…Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings” (p.33).
As I think about vulnerability, I quickly realize that most of us avoid vulnerability.
By Webster’s definition, vulnerability is “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” So it would be easy to understand why being vulnerable isn’t the first place most want to live. Yet, Dr. Brown concludes that vulnerability is at the core of all emotions and feelings and the birthplace of love.
I can’t think of anyone I have met that didn’t want to experience love. If Dr. Brown is correct, then in order to truly experience love, one must be vulnerable.
Scripture teaches us that God is love (1 John 4:8), so assuming Dr. Brown in onto something here, then living in a posture of vulnerability opens one up to experiencing love.
Yet, being vulnerable isn’t our favorite thing in the world.
A few years ago, I had my spine operated on. A bad disc and bone spur on my vertebrae taught me what it meant to really have something get on my last nerve. Now days after the surgery I feel very relieved, but just before surgery I experienced a profound sense of vulnerability.
As I lay on a bed, my nurse prepped me for the surgery, I was not under any anesthesia yet, but felt terribly vulnerable. She was so nice. Through idle conversation (I get chatty when I get nervous), she shared that she was getting married in early December. I asked if I could pray for her and her upcoming marriage. She agreed as it felt like the right thing for both of us to do.
Not long after, the surgeon came into my space and talked me through the entire procedure. In a very vulnerable place, I asked the doctor if I could pray for him. He not only agreed, but he and Stacey held my hand as I prayed.
Surgery was imminent and I knew once I breathed in the magic gas, I would be asleep and unable to change the course of the next few hours. Somehow in that vulnerability, reaching out to a loving God with those that were caring for me seemed the right thing to do. The nurse and doctor felt the same way afterwards.
I was vulnerable and lived into that vulnerability. I can say that I have never felt such a peace come over me like the peace I felt heading into surgery.
We don’t need to be headed into a surgery to feel this in our own lives every day. As I found that morning, I was given a couple of opportunities to share God’s love and grace.
Brene Brown shares in Daring Greatly a story of Gay Gaddis, who is the owner and founder of T3 (The Think Tank) in Austin, Texas. Gay cashed in a sixteen-thousand dollar IRA with the dream of starting and ad agency. Twenty-three years after opening with a handful of regional accounts, Gay has built T3 into the nation’s largest advertising agency wholly owned by women. When asked her about vulnerability she said, “When you shut down vulnerability, you shut down opportunity.”
Is it possible that our best opportunities to live the Christian life come from the posture of vulnerability? Paul proclaims that he “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” him (Philippians 4:13).
I’m not special because I prayed with medical staff before a surgery. God is special, because in my vulnerability, I was shown that I have strength that only comes from Christ.
Like a delicate flower that lives to reach towards the sun, my hope is that we strive to reach towards the son consider living lives wide open and completely vulnerable to whatever God has in store for us.
I read a special poem by Byongho Lee that spoke volumes to me:
Vulnerability
Is not being weak, but being open
Allowing you to become more
Than a stone shroud waiting to crumble
To talk and accept your most painful fears,
thoughts, experiences, memories, scars.
To do so, is true bravery
Is not being thought of less, but to being
willing to change, when necessary
To own those weaknesses, and purge them into strengths
So that one day, you can help others
Find a place where the only road is not so dark
Where a vulnerable heart will stand forever
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love…”