Sh*t Happens

According to Wikipedia, “a toiletis a piece of sanitary hardware that collects human urine and feces, and sometimes toilet paper, usually for disposal. Flush toilets use water, while dry or non-flush toilets do not. They can be designed for a sitting position popular in Europe and North America with a toilet seat, with additional considerations for those with disabilities, or for a squatting posture more popular in Asia (see squat toilet).

I am convinced people are a lot like toilets. Work with me here. Awful things like enter into toilet, but it’s only when feces and the like comes spilling out onto the floor that makes them disgusting. People are similar in that awful things like feces enter into them on a regular basis as information. Only when the person acts on this information or allows that information to sail out into their actions that a person is also considered disgusting or immoral with a questionable character.

Character: the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

(Webster's Dictionary)

I have always wanted what is best for those around me - always. I have spent decades hiding myself in a closet to hide from embarrassment and the shame of being different that other people, but I have always wanted what is best for them. Because I have come out of the closet as a queer man, of all things that should be thought of me, character being questionable is not one of them.

For decades, I fought through life to be sure others would not feel the pain and shame I felt. Never would I put someone into a compromising situation where they would feel the level of hurt I felt all my life. Because I have now shared my identity after decades of hiding, there is no reason to question my moral quality. If anything, how I have carried myself all these years should paint a picture of someone with exemplary moral character, because my pain and shame was caused by a homophobic society and I didn't retaliate. Others hurt me, deeply, but I chose to follow Christ and teach of God's love above all else while always turning the other cheek when others consciously or subconsciously treated queers with disdain.

Well you walk into a restaurant

Strung out from the road

And you feel the eyes upon you

As you're shakin' off the cold

You pretend it doesn't bother you

But you just want to explode

Most times you can't hear 'em talk

Other times you can

All the same old cliches

"Is that a woman or a man?"

And you always seem outnumbered

You don't dare make a stand

Here I am

On the road again

There I am

Up on the stage

Here I go

Playin' star again

There I go

Turn the page

- Lyrics by Bob Seger, Turn the Page

When hurtful things have always been said, "you don't dare make a stand". Seger was merely talking about him having long hair as a rock star while traveling on the road, but the queer that is hearing awful rhetoric must remain silent if the walls of the closet are to remain intact and therefore safety is to be retained. My point is, there is a lot of character that chooses not to return hate for hate or to somehow act in a way that would cause another to feel the same pain and shame you are feeling.

To question my moral character is remarkably unfair just because I have shared my inner truth in being queer.

17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles.

- Matthew 15:17-18 (NRSV)

You have heard it said, "you are what you eat". I think I first heard that when I was young in suggesting the four food groups is a good diet. The same can be true with what is heard and felt as well. All of us have all forms of awfulness enter into them through what they see, hear and touch. The scripture is teaching us that nobody is immune to immorality entering our body as information. One doesn't have to watch pornography to know that there is illicit sexual acts in the world and readily available to anyone. It's difficult to find movies where this isn't prevalent. Books and music have similar abilities to incorporate this kind of message. Sex is an example here, but the same could be true of murder, gossip, and so on. The scripture reference suggests that bad information can and will always enter into the body. That process is not what defines (defiles) a person. It's what that person does with the information that entered the body. When a person doesn't allow that information to inform what comes out of them, then good moral character is formed.

I am queer, because that is how God made me. I am not queer, because of information that entered my body and is being expressed in my daily life. To some, this is my body defiled when I claim to be queer. They are expressing their own prejudices and not accurately describing my life. I could go on and on, but the point is clear - what comes out of a person defines their character not what enters them.

I would never speak poorly of my grandkid, kids, wife, family or friends. The love I have for them is too great. Who I am as a man is made up on many things, but the greatest thing within me is the love of Christ. That rules who and what I am. Many defiling things enter me, just as they do you, the Spirit that lives within me is at war with those things and is winning, because love is what comes from me.

Just because I am queer doesn't mean I want that for anyone else. Queer people are created by God endnote man-made through conversion. My desire for another will always be the same desire I have for myself - to live an authentic life being who God created me/you to be - while living a life filled with love and peace.

That... is what comes from me and only that.