Free Spirit

Have you ever sat and watched a dog play at the beach? Wrestling about in the sand chasing a ball or frisbee until their tongue hangs out and gets all sandy. Dogs don’t care about sand. Dogs don’t imagine they’ll ever run out of energy when they play. I should be more like a dog. I always imagine a dog feeling such freedom in their spirit as I watch them with joy.

One morning I woke up, got dressed and left for work thinking about playing with Bella on the beach the day before. Not unlike any other morning. The only difference between this morning and any other morning was the fact that a journey was about to begin and I didn't realize it.

As I left for work, I was thinking about all of the tasks I needed to accomplish that day. Ministry sure wasn't what I thought it was before leaving my career and going to seminary. Day-dreaming about talking about Jesus seemed exciting. How was it that once I began my work as a pastor, conversations and tasks regarding Jesus became be few and far between?

So here I was. And off to the office I went.

My drive takes me across the intercostal. Every morning I see the guys fishing. I drive a bit further and watch the boats cruise under me as I cross the bridge.

I sometimes wonder what these fine folks do that they aren't driving to their offices each morning like most. That's how jealousy works, you know. I have wished I was them and not the judgmental 'why aren't they working like I have to' rhetoric.

I find it easy to be jealous of free spirits.

It was on this morning drive as I thought about the tasks that my ministry was calling for me that I thought about why being jealous of free spirits was a favorite pastime of mine. As I turned onto Highway 1, it took me by surprise that I had turned north rather than south. 'Recalculating' was what my GPS-type brain was telling me as I never turn north here.

Driving to work is quite routine. I turn right out of our condo onto A1A. There is then a turn left onto the Jensen Causeway. This is where I find fishing fantasy buddies. I then turn left onto Highway One and after another right and one left, I arrive at my church.

Every day the same turns to the same office to do the same work living the same life I had done the day before.

Unlike some jobs, I am not stuck in my office much during the day. I am usually out and about visiting friends in the hospital and going to church member's homes to drink their iced tea. It's different, yet routine as it is every day.

So on this morning I took a wrong turn.

It is okay for a pastor to take a wrong turn? Well, this wasn't exactly sinful, so I should be okay. I thought to myself, 'this will preach'.

My drive to work takes me about twenty minutes a day. Of course there are a few variations with an occasional stop by a Dunkin' Donuts or my usual Starbucks, but most mornings, twenty minutes door to door and I'm working on tasks that have little to do with talking about Jesus.

As I drove in the wrong direction this morning, it wasn't until thirty minutes had passed that I realized I wasn't heading towards the tasks that lay ahead.

I began to realize that there was something moving within me that was taking me for a ride.

An hour later and nearly a hundred miles from home my scenery had changed and so had my desire to complete Jesus-less tasks at the church.

A thought cross my mind as I stopped for gas a couple hundred miles from home - "is this how free spirits begin?"

It was that question in my mind that snapped me back from my daydream. As I somewhat came to, I found myself sitting at the same desk I sat at most days. It was then that I realized the truth that when you’re told you have two options, you almost always have more.

My teacher once told me that where he grew up, there was a church and a liquor store on every corner. He was told he could either be a church person or a liquor store person. Instead, he became neither-he’s not a criminal or a drunk, and he’s spiritual but not involved in organized religion. He knew there had to be other options.

Think you have to get married or stay single? You can be in a lifelong relationship without marriage, or even be non-monogamous. Think you have to work 9–5 or put up with irregular shift work? You can freelance. When you have two options, that often gives you just enough of an illusion of choice to conceal the fact that you actually have more.

I know who I am in Christ and know God called me to the ministry. Getting stuck in a rut of doing every day ministry and rarely talking with people about their faith is like accepting there is only two options in every day work. That’s ridiculous.

Though we are all made in the image of God, we are all equally different. Though every day begins the same, each day can also be equally different.

We should all be so lucky as to celebrate a free spirit.